Tree-huggin’ vegetarians all up in yo meat-searin’ Grill?

25 09 2009

I love meat cooked, and I love meat raw,
At a black tie dinner party, or at home in my bra.
Grilled, seared, or fried, in a doggy bag from a date,
Don’t care if it’s roasted or stewed, as long as it gets on my plate.

Alas, there are many who do not share such sentiments,
The martyrs living on beans, tofu and futile condiments.
“We’re saving the world one roast at a time!”
Veganism is love, meat eating is a crime!
To me this has always seemed a crock of shit,
Next they’ll conserve water by only drinking spit!


All of a sudden, the world is seeing Green,
and people are starting to see what those crazies mean!
Who knew that cow farts could bring on global  warming?
Or that fish downstream from factory farms go belly-up without warning?
I recognize that there are issues in getting chicken from farm to table,
But ingesting a kebab shouldn’t get me a murderous label.  

Apparently now if you eat meat,
You’re part of a problem that’s trendy to beat.
Is this raging carnivore facing her doom?
Am I destined for a diet of carrots and legumes?
Desperate for an answer, I turned to the only source of truth I know…
The foodie section shelves at Chapters-Indigo.

Michael Pollan, Mark Bittman, I’ve read their shpeels before,
And then I saw the winner… Catherine Friend’s Compassionate Carnivore.
The thesis is simple: Know from where your meat comes,
And recognize the sacrifice that has – for your meal – been done.
Consumers have a choice beyond the mass production buy,
And exploring more humane options is worth a try. 

There’s nothing wrong with enjoying a good steak,
If purchased responsibly no social or environmental injustices will it make!
So to those of you living off rabbit food for whatever ethical reason you do,
Don’t hate on me for eating meat, and I won’t bother you!
In fact, I should send thanks for practicing a diet which is animal-free,
Yes, thank you for leaving that much more delicious meat for me!

compassionate carnivore




One response

27 09 2009

Chani I like your blog. It is funny. My suggestion would be more attention to iambic pentameter.

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